I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
