i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize
