No subtext here. People are naked.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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