the day after is always just damage control
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
