i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
