Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize