I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
