So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize