She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Randomize
