she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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