six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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