I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
