my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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