so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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