I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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