my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
