she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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