I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
