They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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