Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Two words: nipple clamps
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