i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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