I skipped work to stalk him.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
