just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
