im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
