he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
