I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
