trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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