Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
