we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
