Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
