You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
