Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
