420 ftw
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
