That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
