We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
