Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
