addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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