Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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