You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
