Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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