Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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