all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The uberlube is also flammable
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
