too bad you live with your parents still
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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