5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
