she smelled like a LAN party
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
