They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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