His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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