I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
