Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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