I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
