Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
