I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
