You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
