He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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