if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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