dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
