so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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