so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
