a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
