I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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