no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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