my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
