Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
