And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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