I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize